It was you.

Every movement, every gesture

Your hair, even your  mustache.

You've remained the same.

It’s funny – the things you’re doing

It’s late, but you’re making ponche.

You smile like a soul unburdened.

I look at you

And see love shining through you.

That love keeps me warm.

What would I do without you

My anchor, my love.

I enjoyed our time today

I wish you could stay a while longer.

It was nice seeing your face

To see your smile again.

Even though I cried once I awakened

It was nice, if only for a moment –

To be in a world where you still existed.

Yesterday I cried in my sleep

I didn't dream, I just cried.

He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

I’m gone.

I’m not angry anymore

I just hurt.

Like a bruise that seeps past my skin

And into my bones.

I hurt.

I see him as if nothing happened

Happy, having fun, smiling –

in my dreams.

He left a disaster behind him

He left us scrambling to pick up

Pieces of broken glass

Pieces too shattered to put back together

Never to regain its former self – our former selves.

How am I suppose to move on?

You were all of  me

My heart. My love. My motivation.

Why try to put pieces together

When the main part is gone.

I just want to hold your hand.

To touch you. To feel you.

He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

I’m gone.

I’m not angry anymore.

I just hurt.

No. I’m hurt. I’m angry.

Angry at death for existing.

Angry at death for not passing you by.

Angry at myself for thinking I had forever.

He Said...

He said I have a way

of calming him down

Bringing peace to the chaos

he’s usually around.

He said I have a way

of settling his worries

Showing him the light

when his sight gets blurry.

He said I have a touch

that reaches beneath his skin

That transforms his body

to forget the world he’s in.

He said I have this feel

that cannot compare

The possibility of its existence

he was never aware.

He said I have a voice

so soothing he melts

Stirring in him a longing

never before has he felt.

He said I have these eyes

not wooing, but magnetizing

They make him yearn to know the depths

so he sits– wondering, analyzing.

He said. He said

no other one will suffice

I must be his alone

no other man shall I entice.

Let me show you what it's like

To share a love that feels just right.

Let me show you this transcending feeling

Your heart racing, its intentions revealing.

Let me show you how surreal

My love can be once revealed.

Take my hand, I'll show you the way

Every inch of my body, to do as you may.

Take my heart, warm and inviting

It holds the power of passion inciting.

Let us marvel in delight

How with a kiss love will ignite.

A passion that moves like thunder

And leads your own logic to wonder.

I've offered you all of me– body and soul

It's now in your hands to determine your role.

He has changed me and he doesn't even know it

He has enlightened me, and doesn't have a clue

His gift to me-- possibility

Possibility of a greater future

I strive to be better, to do better

I push to change, to grow, to conquer

I aim to fill the voids in my life

To push against doors I never knew existed

Possibility of a greater love

He fits me like a glove-his thoughts, his desires

Our passions- mirror images of one another

Our wants- cousins, sitting hand in hand

He has changed my perception of my needs and desires

Has made me see the possibilities -at arms reach

A catalyst in my life, awakening a new hope

He has influenced me more than he could imagine

Yet, I've never even heard his voice.

Today

Today is merely one of those days

Cast in a dark cloud, no sign of sun rays

I yearn for another to aid me in my fight

To hold my hand in these darkest nights

I long for someone whose shoulder is strong

We can lean on each other, however long

A famine has struck deep within my core

I hunger for that connection, affection-- and even more

I thirst for devotion, protection- a man who’s sure

That his heart is pure and my condition it will cure

For my illness is not of flesh and bones

But of my spirit, my soul-- depths unknown

I try to subdue it, but in my heart it stays

Today is merely one of those days

Help me up

from this despair

Help me up

don’t you see I am drowning

Pull me up

with all of your might

Pull me up

beneath my smile I am frowning

Do not take my hand

that will not do

Do not mind my flesh

it is my heart that needs you

Inside is darkness

no beginning, no end

I need you, I need you

my lover, my friend.

NOTE: I wrote this poem a while ago, and it's incomplete. I tried to finish where I left off, but was not able to since I am no longer in that moment.

Human Nature?

It’s human nature to desire a glance interlaced.

But is it boorish to rather a warm embrace?

I want to lure you with my gaze

Until you bring your body close, to burn me with its rays.

It’s human nature to desire a warm embrace

But is it boorish to prefer a taste?

I want to relish your sweet essence               

Bask in your scent, rapt in your presence.

It’s human nature to desire a taste

But is it boorish to wish for it overflowing in haste?

It’s your affections that dawn my longing for you

Your heart, your core—our passions ensue.

It’s human nature to desire….a gaze. an embrace. a taste.

But is it boorish to yearn for a love once defaced?

Hand in hand is what i desire

A love ever enduring blazing with fire

Two becoming one how romantic a notion

Can it ever be or is it merely a childish emotion?

What I desire is everlasting- ever burning ever changing--yet everlasting

It is for that I am fighting- for that I am grasping

Is there another who shares my perception,

Who yearns for that ardent bond and not constant deception?

Crushed and abandoned, Once afraid to open my heart

With my deep emotions I would never part

I held on to my love, no longer would I share it

No one was deserving, gentle enough to cherish it

Instead, i gave of my being, for that hurt less

Simply a moment in time filled with a sweet caress.

Passions ignited, shallow at best

Never enough to put my yearning to rest.

No longer could I ignore my heart's muffled cries

It needed substance, or else prolong my internal demise.

The love I harbored inside fought to escape

It was too strong of a love, too deep to sit and wait

It yearned to share all it possessed inside

To give of itself, for its passion it could not hide.

I now realize my love is too much to hoard

Living without loving-- I simply cannot afford

My passion--- stronger than the past, stronger than the pain.

Holds on to faith and sees through the rain

As the sun and moon fade, my delicate heart it is molding

Everlasting ever growing ever sharing, not withholding

I know not what life has in store,

Yet giving of my love I shall remain, forever more...